Here We Go Again
by Orvon hoolio
Summary: Because sometimes your mother has a murderous Roman counterpart who wants to kill you. Oh, that's just me? Sequel to Artemis's Mistake.
1. Grilled Cheese and Romans

**It's been a long break, have you missed me?**

**Now here's a story, of whose pacing, at best, is a B.**

"Wait, wait. What kind of bun would you like that on: wheat or white?" I asked, frantically pressing buttons while a customer rambled off an order in a distinctly southern drawl.

The man sighed. "I'll just have a plain grilled cheese. Can ya give me that, missy?"

"I sure can, sir." My lip twitched at his condescending tone, but I placed his order, deciding that he was going to get rye bread and pepper jack cheese, since he obviously couldn't place an order correctly.

He gave me his credit card and I swiped it through the cash register, putting the black strip on the wrong side, as always. I had even drawn a little picture and stuck it on the register, but I always forgot to look at it.

"Your food will be ready soon," I said with a long-practiced smile.

The customer didn't say anything as he grabbed his buzzer and stomped off, the spurs on his cowboy boots clanking together.

I groaned and rubbed my eyes. Thirty minutes down, five and a half hours to go.

Now, you may be wondering why I, the sole (as far as I know) daughter of Artemis, Goddess of Hunting and the Wild, granddaughter of the God of the Heavens, was stuck working at a minimum wage job serving hamburgers and scooping ice cream. Well, it started the week before my 18th birthday.

_"What do you want for your birthday this year?" my dad asked me over dinner. _

_I had thought about it long and hard, and I had finally come to a decision. "Can I have a car? Not even a nice one necessarily! Just any ol' thing with four tires, a wheel, brakes, 4-wheel drive, airbags, a disco bal-"_

_To my dismay, my dad was shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Emily, money's just too tight right now. Maybe Artemis can help you out?"_

_I nodded, but I was kinda disgruntled. After the events of last year, my dad had taken a lower paying job in the middle of nowhere to separate us from the Olympian craziness. Ever since, we haven't eaten out as much or bought the latest BioShock game. Just so my dad wouldn't have to worry about me being kidnapped in the middle of the night by enraged godly relatives._

_Which is a completely legitimate fear, I'll admit._

_So, I had rummaged in my room for a drachma, and I plopped it into the glimmering reflection of our glass table on the wall. My dad had leant against the doorway, just watching with fascination, like he always did._

_I had "dialed" Artemis and gone over my speech in my head. I was going to be witty, succinct, and persuasive. _

_"What?" Artemis greeted me in her typical brusque manner. "Are hellhounds attacking again? I told you last time, all you need is a laser pointer." Artemis's eyes were following something behind the camera, and I could feel her attention waning._

_I snapped my fingers. "I'm actually calling to ask about my birthday coming up."_

_"Birthday?" Artemis's eyes snapped towards me, and she looked puzzled._

_"You know, day of my birth? October-"_

_"Yes, yes, I know when your birthday is. I was there, you know." She said, rolling her eyes. "Hurt like a mother, too. What's your point?"_

_I took a deep breath. "Well, we mortals have a tradition of giving gifts on birthdays-"_

_"Gifts? For me? I knew there had to be an upside to having a child! Well, it'll cost you your soul, but there's this silver knife that I've always wanted-"_

_She kept rambling on, not noticing (or just outright ignoring) my look of horror. _

_"-and once you slay the serpent, all you have to do is mix the venom with some, okay most of, your blood, and pour some on the rock and it'll open right up! There's a rumor that whoever touches it has ten years of bad luck, but that's most likely a slight exaggeration. I love human traditions!"_

_I had stood there for a second before my dad cleared his throat and I snapped out of it._

_"It's for me! The present is for me! For my birthday! No serpents or venom or any of that! Just presents and maybe cake!"_

_"Oh." Artemis was clearly very disappointed. "If I'm not getting a present, then why are you telling me about birthdays?"_

_My patience was wearing thin. "I was just calling to ask if you could give me a car, or money for a car, for my birthday, since it's my 18th and all." I tried to subtly slip in the fact that she hasn't given me any presents for 18 years, but I'm not sure she picked up on that. _

_Once more, my request for a car was greeted with a shaking of the head. "No can do."_

_"What are you talking about? You are literally immortal!"_

_"And what use do you think I would have for mortal money? I only need hunting to keep me happy, and money can't buy that."_

_I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "But you're a goddess! You can literally summon things out of thin air before. I've seen you do it!"_

_"I can do little things, like food and such, but the bigger things are beyond my grasp. I can't assist you there, Emily."_

_I knew I was reaching for straws, but I tried my backups plans. "What about Hades?"_

_Artemis frowned in puzzlement. "You want to take a car from the underworld?"_

_"He's also the god of wealth, isn't he? Could he lend me money?"_

_"My lady?" I heard Thalia's voice from beyond the screen. "I think the boar has escaped."_

_Artemis looked over at her and I eagerly waved at the screen. "Hi, Thalia!"_

_"Uh, hi, Emily." She said, disapproving, as always, of my over-enthusiasm. "I'll leave you two to it, then. My lady." She excused herself with a bow._

_Artemis ran her hand through her hair. "You can't make a deal with Hades. He's kind of a jerk and he'll steal your soul for eternity."_

_"Well then could I take one of the thousands of pots from Olympus and sell it? It's not like anyone will notice!"_

_Artemis's eyes started glowing. "You would dare presume to steal from the gods? Do you know what happened to the last person who tried that?" she asked, her voice dropping into a poor imitation of Bale's Batman._

_"Umm no..." I admitted, shrinking back a little bit. _

_"Really? You don't? You're the only daughter of one of the Olympians and you haven't bothered to do any reading up? Of all the unworthy-"_

_I slashed my hand through the image to dissolve it, and sighed. Looks like I was going to actually have to work for a car._

Which brings me to why I was working at 9:30 on a Saturday morning.

"Welcome to Lasko's Dairy, how may I help you?" I said, greeting yet another customer with a tired smile. My high school had won its Homecoming football game last night, so all the students (including myself) went to the local pizza place to celebrate, and I was exhausted.

As the middle-aged, slightly severe looking woman rambled off her order, my mind wandered to the thought of our big Powder Puff game tonight.

My high school has a tradition of the Senior girls scrimmaging the junior girls in a flag football game to finish off Homecoming week, and it was kind of a big deal. As a relatively new student, I wasn't a part of any of the drama happening in between the classes because some junior was seen kissing (remember, this fic is rated T for a reason) a Senior's boyfriend, but I understood the desire to maintain Senior supremacy. The game wasn't until 6:30, so I had nothing to do but work in the meantime.

I swiped the customer's credit card and sent the order through, hoping I had heard her correctly.

"Have a nice- oh you're gone," I muttered (to myself, I guess) as the customer walked away. Rolling my neck, I turned to the next customer. "Hi, welcome to- oh no."

Standing before me was someone quite familiar to us by this time. Sporting a tribal print purse to go with her pink tribal print shirt was none other than the goddess of love herself.

"Hello, Emily," she said, smiling as if we were old acquaintances. "How are you?"

I stared at her in shock, wishing I was anywhere else, or at the very least not wearing my awful red uniform that reeked of fast food. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to talk. Don't make a scene," she ordered, glancing around us to the people on either side of my register. "Tell your boss you don't feel well or something."

"I get off in five hours " I hedged, trying to think of a subtle way to run away screaming. "Could you come back then?"

Her eyes narrowed (Why do people always narrow their eyes at me? What about squinting makes me more tolerable?). "You will talk to your boss now, or I will get you fired."

I carefully weighed my inability to do anything else. "Okay, one second."

My manager was surprisingly understanding (which might be because I'm kind of a terrible cashier and the line was really piling (lining?) up), and he let me go without any problem. Which was kind of a problem.

I followed Aphrodite out to the parking lot, and behind a shed that didn't really belong in the middle of a parking lot but was a hundred years old so the owners left it.

My escape plan of leaping out of whatever car she drove was foiled when she grabbed my arm and we teleported. I hadn't experienced it in a while, so I felt kinda queasy when we touched down at my house.

"So, you're probably wondering why I am wasting my valuable time on you," she started, letting go of my arm and then making hand sanitizer appear. She liberally doused her hands in it. "Oh, sorry, it's just that you reek, and I don't want to smell like greasy fast food."

I almost defended the honor of Lasko's Dairy, but I'm really not that dedicated of an employee. "Why are you here, Aphrodite?"

"That's 'Oh Mighty One' to you. But never mind. I want you to show me how to make an online dating profile."

I started laughing. "That's a good one! Maybe you aren't the worst person I know, if you make jokes like that. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be if you really had to ask a mortal how to-"

Her deadly glare stopped my laughter quickly. "I will repeat myself once and then I will call Ares and have him destroy your house. Show me how to make an online dating profile."

"Heemph!" A chuckle escaped against my will. She lifted her hand to do... something devious, but I waved my hands. "I'm sorry, sorry! I'll help you!"

I started walking over to the dinner table, where the laptop was. Aphrodite followed me at a cautious distance. I sat in front of the computer and turned it on. While we waited for it to boot up, I motioned for her to have a seat next to me.

She did so, with caution.

"Why are you making a dating profile only now? It was a big deal years ago," I asked, staring at the spinning disk on the screen.

She scoffed. "I've been a little busy, you know, titan rebellions and all. Plus, the thing with Artemis... Look, I can't handle being next to you. You smell to high Olympus. Go change into something else."

"But-" I tried to protest, but she snapped her fingers and I found myself walking against my will.

I entered my room and changed into my striped pink shirt and purple plaid shorts, just to annoy her. Sure enough, she winced when I opened the door, but refrained from commenting.

"Any particular website you want to join?"I asked as I started up Chrome. "Probably not Christian Mingle, huh?"

She shook her head. "Just take me to the most popular one."

"eHarmony it is," I said as I silently apologized to the eHarmony community for unleashing Aphrodite on them.

I started an account and filled in the information she gave me, after she smacked me upside the head to saying "ugly brown" for her hair and "crazy as a kumquat" for her eye color. She also didn't like her Interests being listed as "Torturing, meddling, kidnappings, blackmailing, generally being a nuisance." Finally, her account was complete, but I paused before clicking the final enter button.

"Do you really think you can seduce a bunch of strangers over the internet? You don't even know how it works."

She smiled. "The language of love speaks to everybody. And you doubt my powers of seduction? I could seduce you if I wanted to."

"Please don't." Grimacing at the thought, I clicked the button.

I showed her how to view profiles and how to send messages. She took to it like a psychopath to murdering, and it wasn't long before she didn't need me to be there at all, so I went and started playing my PlayStation.

"Alright, mortal, I have accomplished my task. If I find you have accessed or modified that account in any way, I will make you wish you had been sent to Tartarus."

I stood. "Why'd you make me teach you, anyway? Surely you have minions or someone who knows how to use a computer."

"Or, I could make you teach me and guarantee that nobody on Olympus would find out because I'll kill your family if you so much as think about this near other Olympians. Toodles!" She strolled out the door, and I rolled my eyes. Some people had no manners.

It was only 1:30, so I lay down for a nap before the game.

I had a bunch of dreams that foreshadow the ending of this story but I can't remember them, sorry.

"Emily, time to wake up," my dad said as he shook my shoulder. "You're supposed to be at the school in half an hour."

I had drooled in my sleep, and detaching my face from our leather couch wasn't exactly pleasant. My right leg was still asleep, so I limped over to my bedroom and changed into the blue football jersey (juniors had to wear white). I carefully braided my hair into two French braids, and grabbed some eyeliner (Gasp! I'm a girl!)

"Hey, dad, can you put this underneath my eyes like they do in the NFL?" (Gotcha!) I asked, walking over to where he was sitting at the computer.

He was making a powerpoint for his class, and I sincerely hoped Aphrodite had remembered to exit out of eHarmony. "You want eyeblack? Okay, but you're playing at night, so you don't really need it..."

"I want to look tough," I insisted, making my scariest face.

He applied the eyeliner, and when he was done I looked like a fierce warrior. Who was 5'5 and had her hair in two sloppy braids.

He drove me to the school, and I ran out just in time to be announced as Emily "The Big Bad" Wolf.

"Alright, team," Tim, one of the senior football players (who were our coaches), started. "what you're going to do is play hard, and pull those flags. Now, I have no idea who stole whose boyfriend, but this is a great time to work out some of your frustration. Let's go Seniors on three!"

We all put our hands in a pile, and after he counted, half of the hands went up, half of the hands went down, making us look super cool.

I was starting on the defensive line, and I got in the three point stance (We called it the tripod stance during practices to annoy the coaches), and locked eyes with the girl across from me.

I think her name was Rebecca, and she had Romans 1:14 written on her eyeblack.

It was always a little awkward when she tried to invite me to church, because I happened to know several gods personally, which I'm pretty sure isn't in the rule book.

Something about the verse made me pause. 'Romans... Wait. If the Roman gods were the same as the Greek gods, that means Artemis is also... someone else! Weird. Maybe I'm also-

"We did it!" Brittany (a girl in my science class) exclaimed, slapping me on the back. "You were an animal!"

"What?" I asked, blinking furiously. "What happened?"

Tim was walking next to us and laughed. "You tore them apart, that's what happened! I've never seen anyone play like that! MVP of the game, that's for sure!"

"Wait, how did this happen? The game hasn't started yet!" I was incredibly weirded out. Did I blackout? Was I possessed by something?

I saw my dad running over to the sidelines with the rest of the parents, and he had the biggest smile on his face. "That's my girl!" He hollered, giving me a big hug.

The parents around us laughed, and I felt several people pat me on the back. The next couple minutes passed in a blur of congratulations, pictures, and chanting "We undefeated, we undefeated!" (Yes, it's awful grammar, but what're you going to do?)

Finally, the crowd cleared and I made my way back to where my dad was. Standing next to him in a black coat and silver pants was-

"Artem-mom! What are you doing here?" I approached her cautiously, not remembering if we were on hugging terms or not.

"Your father insisted I come to one of your school events, and this one was at least a little interesting. Good job," she said, clasping me awkwardly on the shoulder. "From the shouts of the other parents, you did well."

I wanted to tell her about the possession or whatever it was, but just for a moment, my mom was complimenting me without any back-handedness.

"What was your favorite moment?" I asked, linking arms with my dad as we walked to the car. As they (mostly my dad) went on about how amazing I was, I was incredibly weirded out but pleased to have had such wild success.

We got home and Artemis left, after congratulating me formally, again. My dad wanted to stay up and talk about the game, but I convinced him I was too tired, and he let me go to bed without a fuss.

After I brushed my teeth and showered (hygiene is important!), I crawled into bed and logged on Facebook on my phone. I was tagged in a bunch of statuses, but what really caught my eye was the video someone had posted of a couple minutes of the game.

As it loaded, I hoped I wasn't going crazy, because I didn't really have time for that.

The video loaded, and it was shot from the highest bleachers, so the little players were tiny blurs of pixels.

I watched the junior quarterback receive the ball and drop back for a pass, only to see this blue blur tear after her and rip her flag away.

"That's Emily again!" The voice of whoever shot the video said. "She's sacked the quarterback 'bout 10 times now! She's playing like a demon's after her!"

On the next play, it looked like they had two people blocking me, but I shoved them away and sprinted after the quarterback, who saw me coming and fumbled the football, which I recovered.

I watched the entire quarter, and it filled me with apprehension. What happened to me? Was it triggered by something?

The video maker discovered he could zoom in at the end, and he captured me (I think it was me, it was super blurry) "tackling" the running back in the backfield. I had thrown the flag on the ground, and looked directly at the camera. There was a hardness of expression in my 6 or so pixels, and it looked like I mouthed something. I couldn't tell what, but I had a feeling it would be crucial to the plot somehow.

Turning my phone off, I plugged it in to charge, and lay back in my bed. What was happening to me? Who was that person who played like that? How amazing are the Colts?

Questions swam through my mind, and I found I couldn't sleep.

I tossed/turned for about 15 minutes before I decided some cool air would calm me down.

Tiptoeing to avoid waking my dad (who snored so loudly there was no way he could hear me), I opened the sliding glass door and stepped into my backyard. The moon was shining brightly, and it was unseasonably warm for October in the Midwest.

I started walking towards the old tire swing at the very back of our half-acre property, but I tripped on one of my strategically placed gnomes that were there to, well, trip people. (Don't try this at home, kids)

"Daughter of Artemis!" I exclaimed softly, rubbing my foot. It was throbbing but not the "It's going to look like I have conjoined twin toes tomorrow" throbbing.

"You?" I heard a voice behind me, one I didn't recognize.

I whipped around to see Artemis. "Geez, Mom, don't sneak up on me like that. And yes it's me. Who else would trip over one of her own gnomes?"

Her face was in shadow, and when she stepped out, I could tell something was different. Her face had a cold fascination I hadn't really ever seen. I do many things, and inspire emotion is definitely one of them. "You call me Mom?"

"Well, I don't call you Dad. What are you doing in my backyard?"

She continued to walk towards me, with the look that gave me shivers. I took a step backwards. "Artemis, you're freaking me-"

"Be silent and still," she ordered, which definitely proved it wasn't the Artemis I knew, who knew better than to give me direct commands.

I lunged to the left, knowing I wouldn't get away but that I had to try.

What I didn't know was how badly it would hurt when she stuck her arm out and clotheslined me right in the jugular.

As I lay wheezing on the ground, she continued to stare at me, showing no more emotion than she had before. "Fascinating."

"Wh-ho are yo-ou?" I gasped out, pretty sure my windpipe was now the size of a coffee straw.

"Typical Artemis to not teach respect. I'll let it slide, girl, this once because I'm sure my Greek half has messed this up, too. I am Diana, Goddess of the Hunt, roman counterpart to Artemis, who I see has made a horrible mistake in reproducing. And I am left again to clean up her messes."

I was speechless. And freaked out. "What do you mean 'clean up her messes'? Where's Artemis?"

"She's in here somewhere," Diana (I guess) said, gesturing in her general head area. "Only one of us can be present at a time, and it is my turn to run the show. And by 'clean up her messes,' I was referring to eliminating you. I apologize, I should have been more clear about that."

Well, since she put it so nicely...

**Hey, everybody! I just felt like I wasn't finished with AM's universe, and I wanted to see what Emily's next adventure was. Before you guys point out any errors in my logic, I have to admit that I haven't read the Lost Hero or any of the sequels, but I really like the concept of the Roman sides. So, I'm cashing in my voucher for creative license, and I hope you enjoy the story!**


	2. Running and Romans

**AN:**

**I know I've had time**

**To read the books, so sorry**

**Artistic license?**

"You're going to kill me? You just met me! Normally it takes at least another 5 minutes!" I don't know why I can't just be quiet in times of trouble, but it sure wasn't helping now.

She looked at me dispassionately. "I can only imagine how much of a laughing stock we are around Olympus. Jupiter will have a punishment in store, that's for sure."

"You can't remember anything Artemis knows?" I asked, excited. Maybe this explained my black-out! "Can you control the change?"

Apparently Diana decided to indulge me before she killed me. "I can access memories if I try hard enough, but I would rather not dwell on Artemis's mistakes. No, the change is completely based on who we're talking to. A roman demigod accidentally discovered our camp, and he triggered the change. Which is the last thing he ever did." Okay, Artemis was a jerk sometimes, but even she had reservations about outright murder.

She drew her bow, and I knew I needed to think of something quickly.

"Wait, I'm a Greek, I guess, so doesn't that mean I should be talking to Artemis right now?"

She froze, her eyes widened, and a little seizure ripped through her.

"No!" She shouted, dropping her bow. "You can't make me-"

I could see the exact moment Artemis gained control, because her face softened in infinitesimal ways.

She shook her head like a dog shedding water, and looked up at me, then at the bow on the ground. "What did you do?"

"What- what did I- You almost killed me!" I stammered, relief coursing through my arteries. "Well, it wasn't you, it was-"

"Don't say her name! Do you want her to come back?" Artemis (I'm pretty sure) said, picking up her bow and holstering it. "What did my other half do this time?"

I scoffed. "Besides try to kill me to preserve your honor, she also- No, wait, that was pretty much it. Could you maybe explain how there is a whole other side of you that I didn't know about?"

"Well, it's a long story. Maybe we should wait until tomorrow?"

I rose to my feet (yeah, I was lying down this whole time). "Or, you could tell me now, so I know what to do next time Evil!You decides she wants me gone."

She offered a hand, and I grabbed it lightly. The world spun, and suddenly we were in her elaborate tent. Where it was in the world, I wasn't sure, but I did get a vague Middle-Easterny vibe from it. I collapsed on an oversized cushion.

"Well, you know that the Romans conquered the Greeks a long time ago right?" I nodded. "Well, they liked us, and they started worshipping the Olympians too. But they were a much more severe civilization, and they started worshipping different qualities in us, mostly the brutal and cold-hearted aspects. It was okay for a while, but we slowly started to become someone else when we were talking to romans. They idolized our professionalism, so we became stern when we talked to them. But the fun-loving Greeks still treated us the same, and we could be our real selves around them. Eventually, we were all separated into two people: the hard-nosed, cold, occasionally cruel Roman gods, and the equally-powerful but much more lenient Greek versions. And both sides are constantly fighting over who gets to be in control, aided by the people we interact with. So, there you have it. There a whole nother world of us to discover."

I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that my mom was two completely different people. "But why are you just telling me this now?"

"Because I just figured out what the next book series is about!" (Watch your feet around the shattered pieces of the fourth wall.)

I rolled my eyes. "Like anyone would write a book about someone other than me. But what are we going to do?"

"Well, I'm not sure. I can hear Diana right now, and she's pretty furious. Normally she's well contained, unless I see a Roman demigod. I'll try to be on the lookout, but I also accept Roman maidens into the Hunters, so let's just hope it doesn't come to that. I'm just glad you haven't shown any signs of switching into your other persona."

I cocked my head. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Diana's a female dog, but even she wouldn't kill you in cold blood. You are a young maiden, who she's sworn to protect. Now, if your Roman side were to come out, it would likely trigger me changing. Then, if she asked, Roman you would likely volunteer to be sacrificed, for her, and my, I guess, honor. Rome's a pretty weird place. But, you probably won't change, so there's nothing to worry about. I'm going to drop you off at your house, you need some sleep."

I didn't try to protest, and she grabbed my shoulder, and we were transported to my room.

"Gnome sheets? Really?" She rolled her eyes. "You are so embarrassing. Okay, I'm heading out. And do some research, so I don't have to explain everything to you all the time. Good night."

"Night!" I said, lying down under my covers. My phone was fully charged, so I unplugged it so I wouldn't have to hold it at a weird angle because of the cord. Then, I googled Artemis.

Let me just tell you, as weird as it is having an immortal goddess millennia old as your mother, having a Wikipedia page devoted to a family member is almost weirder. I knew the basics of her birth already (brother=Apollo, something something dove), but there were a bunch of things I had no idea about. I resolved to ask her about Orion, maybe after I save her life or something and she owes me a favor.

Also, the pictures of statues of my mom without clothing made me physically ill. I saw one, and I quickly turned off my phone, hoping that would erase the memory.

It didn't, and I knew I'd had nightmares when I slept.

But sleep came over me with ease, because I really had had a busy day. (Seriously, doesn't my author know anything about pacing?)

As I drifted off, Artemis's warning about Roman!Me coming out and committing SBO (Suicide By Olympian) did worry me, but not enough to keep me awake.

u/u/u/u/u/

Fall break started, and my school was generous enough to give us the week off (Though that might have more to do with the fact that possums were now rampant in 1/3 of our classrooms and the school nurse had to be licensed to give rabies shots), so I mainly lazed around. I tried Skyping with Ward, but he still had school, and we were in different time zones, so communication was difficult.

Vermin High School (used to be Sherman HS, but the local town newspaper decided its new name was more appropriate) wasn't a very difficult homework-wise so far, and I had nothing to keep me busy. I spent Sunday playing Arkham Asylum, until my PS3 erased my save and drove me into a fit of rage. Then, I spent some more time on the internet checking out the whole Roman side to all my relatives. was surprisingly helpful and hilarious.

When my dad came home at 6, he had picked up pasta from the local Avanti's, and we ate it while watching the new episode of Heroes (I wish).

"Don't forget that your senior pictures are tomorrow. I'll pick you up around 10:30 and we can grab lunch. Your pictures shouldn't take longer than an hour, and I have a class to teach at 1. Does this sound like a plan?" my dad asked, spilling some spaghetti sauce on his shirt, like he always did.

"Sounds good to me!"

He stood and cracked his neck. "I'm going to head to bed. I'm not feeling so good."

"Night, dad!" I called at his retreating form. "I'll try to keep it down!"

I put our dishes in the dishwasher and wiped the table down. Then, I grabbed the laptop and sat in our easy chair.

Thinking I would see if there was any major news, I looked at CNN. Then, I caught up on Hyperbole and a Half posts. About half an hour later, I heard my phone vibrate.

I patted my sweatpants' (sweatpants's?) pocket but it wasn't there. Then, my dad handed it to me.

"Thanks, da-ad is asleep!" I leapt to my feet, and saw Aphrodite there, smirking at me.

"Observant, aren't you?" she said, sitting on my couch, which I knew I'd have to bleach later. "I just came by to check on my profile. Hand your device over."

I did as she ordered (reluctantly), and checked my phone, only to see it was just my work schedule that had been posted. Conveniently, I didn't have to work for the next week.

I checked my messages again to see if Ward had messaged me, and sighed in disappointment when he hadn't.

"Boy trouble?" Aphrodite guessed, eyes flicking up at me over the top of the laptop.

It went against my instincts, but I wanted someone to talk to. "Well, since I moved to-"

"I don't actually care," she interrupted me, typing rapidly, eyes glued to the screen.

I stood up, and walked behind her, curious about how many messages she had gotten. Then, I couldn't believe it.

"15 million messages?!" I barely held in my shout. "Are you kidding me?!"

She didn't say anything. I had read that there are 20 million users, so...

"That's practically every guy! And half the girls!" The thought was making my brain hurt, and my comfort with having her in my living room dissipate.

Aphrodite turned to look at me. "I don't understand how you still aren't getting this. I can make anyone fall in love, or something close to it, any time without any difficulty. You like to play video games? Well," she snapped her fingers. "now you love to play video games, you loser."

I looked over at my PS3 and suddenly couldn't believe I wasn't playing it. I had left it on, so I just grabbed the TV remote and I was in bliss.

"Try to stop," Aphrodite suggested, back to looking at her profile.

_Come on, Emily, you can do it!_ I tried to will myself to turn the game off, but the very thought hurt. Then, I tried to pause the game, but couldn't bring myself to do that either. "Make it stop!"

My fingers were rapidly pressing buttons, and it was all happening so fast I couldn't even keep up with what was happening. My eyes started to burn from not being able to blink, and the sick thing was, I didn't want to blink because I'd miss a second of the game.

My vision started to get fuzzy, and it was hard to see, which made it difficult to play, and I had to crawl closer and closer to the screen, until my forehead was touching it.

"Please, Aphrodite," I begged, feeling myself becoming more and more drawn into the game, to a degree that scared me.

With a sigh, she snapped, and I dropped my controller like it was on fire.

I was kneeling on the floor, almost blinded and shaking from released tension, and suddenly terrified of the person on my couch.

She didn't look away from the screen. "Still surprised I can get a couple messages?"

"No," I admitted, getting to my feet and sitting in my armchair, a fair distance away from her. "Hey, what's it like having a planet named after you?" (I knew about the planet Venus before today, just so you guys know).

"Peachy."

I leaned forward and rested my arms on my knees. "Can you control it when-"

"Don't say her name. I'm working here," Aphrodite snapped, probably annoyed at my interruptions.

I was able to sit in silence for a whole minute, which I think is impressive. "Do you know when you aren't yourself? Can you see and hear what other you's doing?"

"Yes. I can see but not act, but she can hear me and I can hear her. Right now she's telling me to make you fall in love with the Pyramids" I shuddered "so you stop annoying me. And she's also pissed I'm using a social dating site, but whatever. What's this about, anyway? You get a visit from mean old Roman mommy?"

"Maybe..."

"Huh, Roman you would be interesting to see. Probably loads more respectful. And wouldn't make such a big deal about me borrowing a computer for a couple minutes. If she can hear me, whenever you switch into Roman Emily, come see me. If nothing else, it'll be hilarious blackmail material when I make you polish Ares's armor with your toothbrush."

I frowned, and resolved to never let my Roman side out again, especially not around Olympians. Why was I so unpopular again?

"If you do that, it'll be almost as hilarious as when I tell my mom and Hepatitis (I still can't say Hephaestus) about your new desperate plea for attention."

Oh, right, that's why.

She dropped the laptop on the couch and stalked over to me. "If you aren't careful, you might find yourself falling in love with the deepest part of the ocean."

Aphrodite disappeared, and I decided it was time for bed. After my usual bedtime routine, I crawled into bed, thinking about the day. It hadn't been overly busy, but it gave me a weird premonition that something big was going to happen tomorrow (or whenever my author decides to update it.)

(Just kidding, that's right now!)

The next morning, I got dressed and my dad took me to the nearby park to get my pictures.

"Smile!" The photographer said as I posed dramatically with a tree, and I gave her my most charming Wolf smile. "Very nice. Now don't smile."

I tried, but the best I could manage was a slightly smaller smile.

"No, serious face. No smiling. Stop smiling," the photographer insisted, and I wondered why I couldn't just have happy pictures. "Seriously, don't smile."

_You are ridiculous,_ a voice in my head said, and then I wasn't smiling.

"Very nice!" The photographer said, snapping the picture, not noticing my look of panic at the thought of my blackout happening again. "Now, let's go over here."

For the next forty-five minutes, I would try my best to smile sincerely, while battling with the other side of me, who, admittedly, was convenient for the serious pictures. By the end, I was physically and mentally exhausted (there were hills and things, I swear), and I just wanted to go home.

"You looked great, sweetie," my dad said, putting his arm around me as he drove home. "Your serious face was chilling! It didn't look like you at all. But it still looked good."

I forced out a chuckle, and resolved to talk to Artemis about this new development.

"What?" was my mother's curt greeting when I messaged her.

I wasn't really taken aback, but I was slightly offended. "Why, hello to you too."

"You can't call me every day. I have stuff I need to do." she said, standing up, but not before I saw that she was lounging on a couch covered in pelts.

I took a deep breath. "I think I'm changing."

Her eyes shot to mine, as if she was trying to gauge my sincerity. "Well, that's a problem."

Long story short, (man, we like to argue) she teleported to my house, and transported us back to her tent.

I quickly recounted the picture occasion to her and Thalia (who was lounging nearby), this time adding the fact that I couldn't remember the football game. "And that can't be-"

My vision started fading, but I tried to fight it off. "happening right now!"

"Emily? Emily, focus!" Artemis put her hand on my shoulder and shouted. "Pull it together!"

I lost, and suddenly I was gone.

But I wasn't. I could still hear and see, I just couldn't control what I was doing.

"My Lady," Roman Me (RM until I find out her name (and maybe after if it's hard to spell or super long)) said, kneeling on the floor. "You honor me with your presence, my liege."

To her credit, Artemis's lip curled and she rolled her eyes. "Gods, this is why I can't stand being in Rome. At ease."

Thalia was standing in the corner, taking it all in.

RM rose to her feet, but kept her eyes respectfully downcast.

Because she did this, I could see what Artemis did, but I heard her say "Apollo, you'd better come over. Yes, I need your help with something. No, I'm not going to repeat that. Just come over!"

_Look up, do something!_ I tried to shout, but I was met with an icy silence.

Apollo appeared, probably. I could only see his shoes, because stupid RM is spineless.

"She's reverted to her Roman form."

Apollo walked over to where RM was standing. "Look at me." He ordered in a commanding voice.

RM's eyes shot up, and I looked my uncle in the eye for the first time in many months. He hasn't aged, of course, but he looked sterner now than I had ever seen him.

"You see? This isn't Emily," Artemis said, running her hand through her hair. "What can we do? Plus, she might trigger Di coming out, and you know how well that will go."

A faint burst of recognition, and I knew RM was starting to make connections.

Dangerous connections.

Apollo looked into RM's eyes, as if trying to see if I was in here. "What's your name, girl?"

I would have answered with a hilarious-only-to-me comment and a sarcastic shrug, but RM didn't harbor any desire to rebel. "I am called Aemilia, sire, but you may call me anything you wish."

The words almost burned coming out of my mouth, and I could hear the differences in the way we spoke. For one, her words were precise and sharp, and she didn't sound like a slightly drunk person at all, as I occasionally (always) do.

"Tell me the last thing you remember," Artemis ordered, which would have annoyed me if I wasn't so curious.

"I remember everything my Greek" she spat the word out and I felt my inner hackles rise. "counterpart does. I recently gained control of the body when she was too hyperactive to pose for pictures, and she was sufficiently distracted enough for me to gain complete control. But I also remember being in control during the sport activity everyone was so excited about. I can be more specific if you desire, my lords."

Artemis, Apollo, and Thalia were silent, and unfortunately, so was Aemilia. Ugh, what a stupid name.

Finally, Artemis spoke up. "Can you make Emily come out?"

RM stiffened, and I felt a thrill of excitement. Surely Aemilia was too much of a bootlicker to-

"I can't do that, Lady Artemis." she said, not even apologetically. "My allegiance belongs to Lady Diana, and succumbing to my inner Greek would hinder me in my quest to aid her. I must request an audience with Lady Diana, and as a Roman demigod, I call her forth."

Artemis took a step forward, eyes flashing with rage. "You daughter of a-"

"Roman." Aemilia said, the faintest of grins twitching her lips.

Artemis fell on her hands and knees and started shaking violently, obviously trying to hold back Diana.

Thalia reached for her, but Apollo held her back. "Go draw Emily out, with violence if you have to."

Thalia nodded, but Aemilia heard and started backing away. I could feel her struggle with fight or flight, and, unlike me, flight won out.

She (we) took off at a dead sprint out of the tent flap, and I was right about the sandiness of the environment.

It was only a couple of seconds before I realized that I was moving much faster than I could before.

_Stupid roman me, being more athletic_. I thought, ignoring the wave of disapproval Aemilia sent in response to that statement.

However, as any runner can tell you, (and they'll have to tell you, because Zeus knows I'm not a runner) running in sand is hard.

The sun had apparently been down for several hours, so at least the sand wasn't scorching my feet. RM reached a small sand dune, and turned back to check on Thalia's progress. She was several hundred meters behind us, and I felt the thrill of victory rush through RM, and it seemed to fuel her, as she began running again.

_So, what's your end goal, here? You can't run forever_. I tried to reason with her.

To my surprise, she actually answered, out loud. "I'll just stay out of earshot of Thalia to keep you contained, and then Lady Diana will come take me away."

_And kill you! _I mentally exclaimed. _Are you forgetting that part?_

She (we) shrugged. "I will do whatever my Lady commands, if it will preserve her honor."

_Ugh._ I groaned. _You are going to kill us._

"Maybe, but we can be assured of-

A bright light, a loud _crack,_ and suddenly we were on fire.

**AN2: Yeah, I'm liking the haikus. And I'm sorry this isn't completely accurate to the series, I mean no offense to Mr. Riordan (because I'm so sure he is reading this), but I'm really excited to take this story in a new direction, and if that isn't what you're looking for, I understand. Reviews are like internet pats-on-the-head.**


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